ZIM: Zombie Instant Messenger
by Megan Hale
Summary: Oneshot I wrote at 2am. Taking a look inside a chat with all of our favorite special infected. Rated T for an almost-suggestive screenname. Thanks to Probably-A-Stalker for the names: JockStrap, MASTERdeBATER, and SmokerFriendly. :D


**AN-** LOL. Okay, so here's another one of those fics I wrote at 2 am. Yes, I tend to write at obscene hours. I've tried writing during the daytime. It usually doesn't work (hence the less than brilliant English projects). So I'm giving the warning about spelling/grammar and other possible mistakes. I proofread it during normal hours of consciousness, but I'm not perfect, sooo...

Anyways, imagine our favorite zombies have their own instant messaging system. Not much more to explain.

Here's the screennames: (in order of appearance)

Spittin'Thang- Spitter

SobsALot- Witch

JockStrap- Jockey

RolyPoly- Boomer

TackleBunches- Hunter

TankPUNCH- Tank

SmokerFriendly- Smoker

MASTERdeBATER- Charger

Okayyy, commence the reading! :D

* * *

ZIM: Zombie Instant Messenger

_Spittin'Thang has logged in._

_SobsALot has logged in._

**Spittin'Thang**: Hey, gurrrrl! : )

**SobsALot:** What's got you so happy?

**Spittin'Thang:** What, can't say hey without havin my motives questioned?

_JockStrap has logged in._

**SobsALot:** Ugh. Here we go.

**JockStrap:** Hello ladies. ;)

**Spittin'Thang:** What do you want?

**JockStrap:** Well isn't someone being a little feisty?

**Spittin'Thang:** Get lost, creep.

**JockStrap:** Already have. In your eyes. ;)

_Spittin'Thang has logged out._

**JockStrap:** Looks like it's just you and me, baby. ;)

_RolyPoly has logged in._

**RolyPoly:** Ugh, guys. I feel so fat right now. I just had a large pizza. And some breadsticks.

**SobsALot:** I don't wanna hear that you brought that stuff back up though. You know that isn't good for you.

**RolyPoly:** Yeah, yeah.

_TackleBunches has logged in._

**TackleBunches:** Heyyy guys. :]

**JockStrap:** Male specimen invading my territory. Ugh. I'm out.

_JockStrap has logged out._

**TackleBunches: **What was that about?

**SobsALot:** He's mad because he's a creep who can't get a date.

**TackleBunches:** Oh, so the usual then.

_TankPUNCH has logged in._

**TankPUNCH:** Hey guys. I got a question.

**SobsALot:** Yeah?

**TankPUNCH:** Are you all gonna be coming to the game on Saturday?

**SobsALot:** Oh….Uhm, yeah I guess.

**TankPUNCH:** Awesome, anyone else? You know, someone who actually knows something about the sport of heavy lifting and object-throwing?

_SobsALot has logged out._

**RolyPoly: **Not cool, man.

**TankPUNCH:** What?

**RolyPoly:** Don't tell me you can't tell that she likes you.

**TankPUNCH:** SHE LIKES ME?

_SmokerFriendly has logged in._

**SmokerFriendly:** Who likes you?

**RolyPoly: **Great. Now everyone is going to know.

**TankPUNCH:** That one emo chick that's always crying up in the corner.

**RolyPoly:** She has a name. Stupid brats. Ugh, my stomach. Gtg.

_RolyPoly has logged out._

_MASTERdeBATER has logged in._

_Spittin'Thang has logged in._

**MASTERdeBATER:** Hey babes, what's crackin'?

**Spittin'Thang:** Oh god. Do the manwhores never end in their harassment? I mean, COME ON.

**MASTERdeBATER:** Oh, come on now, baby, you know you want me. ;)

**Spittin'Thang:** Preferably dead with your limp arm wound around your neck seven times until your head pops off.

**TackleBunches:** Woah woah, hold up with the hostility.

**TankPUNCH:** Did you guys know that that emo chick is in to me?

**Spittin'Thang:** Yeah, pretty much everyone did. For a while.

**TankPUNCH:** Are you kidding me? You mean we could have been together this whole time?

**MASTERdeBATER: **Wait wait wait, you mean you want her?

**TankPUNCH:** Well, yeah.

**MASTERdeBATER:** You've officially lost it. Lay off on the steroids man, they're screwin' with your brain.

**Spittin'Thang:** Well I, for one, think it's sweet. You should ask her out.

**TankPUNCH:** Are you kidding me? She'd claw my eyes out.

**TackleBunches:** Nah. Not if she's totally cheesin' for you.

**TankPUNCH:** Cheesin'?

**TackleBunches:** I panicked.

**MASTERdeBATER: **So, Spittin'Thang, you wanna be my girl?

**Spittin'Thang:** Ask me in ten-thousand years.

_SobsALot has logged in._

**SobsALot:** Ready to apologize yet?

**TankPUNCH: **Uhm…Well will you go out with me?

**SobsALot:** Why, so you can humiliate me?

**SmokerFriendly:** No, he wants to play some tonsil hockey with you after smashing in some survivor's heads with a giant piece of cement that came out of nowhere and didn't seem to make any whole in the ground at all.

**SobsALot:** Oh. Well, okay, sure.

**TackleBunches:** Aww, I love a happy ending.

**Spittin'Thang:** Hate to break up the little love fest. But I hear some survivors just came into town. Time for work.

_All users have logged out. _


End file.
